03-02-2021 17:00

From void to freedom

Do you also find terms like passion, fulfillment and so on complicated? Beautiful words, would be wonderful if you had it, but how do you get it? If only a little bit.

What most coaches agree on is that the best way to answer this question is by finding out what your values are. Sometimes this search starts with the question: "What gives you energy? I find that a difficult one myself. I get energy from dancing, for example. But then again, going to work in my clubbing outfit to the next client doesn't seem like a very good plan. I also get a lot of energy from wining & dining, but if I overshoot the mark, I'll be a ton of beans in six months' time. And that's not the plan either, because then I wouldn't fit into the aforementioned outfit.

More often, the search begins with the question "What do you find important in your life?". Your children, your family, your health, being happy... But then, what? How do you translate that into choices? Of course, eating less fat, being nice to your boyfriend/girlfriend and, last but not least, taking better care of yourself. With some better inner digging, this question will go a long way and you will be able to give your life some direction to become happier and more successful.

There is also another route. Through your void. When I was a child I wasn't exactly what you would call a girlie-girl. I loved playing football, messing around in the mud, doing crafts with building materials in my father's shed and playing with animals (we had lots of goats, ducks, ponies etc. at home). My parents were fine with all that, but it was different at school. There were girls' groups. I didn't belong to any of them and found them a bit scary. They were busy with make-up and who had the best clothes etc. I was different. And that was made very clear to me at school. The message: You shouldn't be yourself. You're a girl so behave like one. I wanted to be creative in my own way, so that I could discover the activities that made me happy. Instead, I was asked to fit into what (conventional) society expected of me. Out of that void developed one of my highest values: I learned how important it was to stay true to myself and to learn from people who chose their own path. And that ultimately led me to choose my profession in order to help other people find and become their true selves.

Because I felt 'trapped' by the expectations of others, I valued freedom. The lack of being able to be myself awakened an urge in me not to get so far from myself. That gives me direction. And I have translated that direction into behaviour. In my work as an independent entrepreneur, I do what makes me happy, not just what makes money. I have a different definition of success. I feel successful when I can live in line with my highest values; the freedom to choose my own path and to organise my life accordingly.

Do you also want to live your life in line with your highest values? Look further on the website for individual coaching possibilities and keep an eye on our agenda for the online training 'Search for Meaning' and the Life- and Career Design Weekends (as soon as it is possible again).